Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize