You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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