I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize