This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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