i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
