I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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