Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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