we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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