I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
