thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
