omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
