this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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