Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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