So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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