just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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