I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I want her autograph on my taint
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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