Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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