Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
