It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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