I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
