Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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