I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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