I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
