So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
