Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
