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• (858): View more from California

  Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

  (858): View more from California

  i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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• (425): View more from Washington

  There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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• (909): View more from California

  I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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• (914): View more from New York

  Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid

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