so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize