Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
