I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
