1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
