And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
