Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize