Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
