Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
