yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
