You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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