Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
