Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
