I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
