1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
