This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize