Say something about gay babies.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
should my penis look like a turkey
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
