Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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