Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
