Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
