we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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