We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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