I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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