I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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