Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
