im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why didn't you poke me back
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
