If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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