i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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