she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
