My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
vagina is talking i cant
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize