We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
