Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
