i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
