I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
