"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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