brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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