i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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