girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
