Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
