Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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