porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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