Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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