I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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