so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize