apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
