There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
